Oddly enough, through these past few weeks I have just realized how "black and white" I am- (figuratively!). My boss once said I was too "black and white" to boot, being stubborn, I shrugged it off of course. Then, Shazam! I realized I have to be either here or there, right or wrong, yes or no, all details or none, know or be unknown. It's not that I can't compromise, believe me, I am absolutely capable of meeting in the middle, but as far as my personal views or sways. Well, this is surprising seeing my political views are moderate- I don't sway. Anyhow! Like, for instance. I LOVE the show Jon and Kate plus 8 and I have been watching it faithfully for awhile now. Bought it on DVD- DVR it- I watch it all the time. Recently I stumbled upon a website called "Gosselins without pity". It's a huge forum where people write somewhat nasty things about the show and the parents of the children on the show. Weird thing is, after reading it for hours, my views started to change. Is it that I didn't notice it before because I was blinded by the cute kids or their cute little excursions that I didn't see all the freebies and advertising that was going on? I always knew Kate was a semi-beyotch. I guess reading different views on the show and what it is potentially doing to the kids was pretty eye-opening. Same thing happened with my like for Rachael Ray. LOVE her show, watched it faithfully for years, them stumbled across a website that totally knocked her and all she does down. I have to admit here- one of the reasons I was so fond of my last boyfriend was because he totally kept me in tune with reality and opened my eyes to what is REAL and what CAN/IS perceived. So now, when I watch the show, I find myself looking for these advertisements, mean moments she has and all this other malarkey and my view is totally skewed...I really don't enjoy it anymore. Blah. Oh well, the kids are still freaking adorable. I guess my point is, that I really need to understand or at least grasp sometimes the reality of situations- granted, I'm talking about television here. Believe me, I grasp the reality quite clearly that celebs are completely painted up and tucked to look perfect....that one I get and I hate that...another whole post! I could go on about what that is doing to women all over- maybe another time. Ah well, it's all entertainment.
I watch Idol too. I love that show. So the funny thing is, besides the fact that I'm a faithful viewer, is that afterwards the local news came on. What's so funny about that? Well, there was a story about a driver's ed. teacher who inappropriately touched a former student or something- ok, not so funny. Here's the kicker, his name was Mr. McFeely! HA! I found it quite funny. I'm mean.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Stuff dreams are made of..
Not that people like hearing about other people's dreams...seriously, I don't think anyone really does. But I have, for at least a year been having a reoccurring theme in my dreams. It involves me trying to call someone in my dream, consistently, and not being able to dial the number correctly or the phone is broken or something. It's crazy! I've tried to google it of course, to no avail. It's pretty strange. It's always me trying to call a particular person too. I don't know if my subconscious is telling me that that person is "just out of reach" or "unavailable" or what. Just strange.
I had some weird dreams last night. I love dreaming. I can honestly say that I truly enjoy dreaming whether they're good or bad. Whether it's seeing deceased family members, talking to friends I haven't seen in awhile, riding crazy amusement park rides, or being chased by someone with a chainsaw, they're all great! Perhaps it's because my life can be so boring at times. I shouldn't complain, I have a trillion things to be grateful for.
Gosh, I feel as if my life has been so uneventful lately, yet so many changes have just occurred all at once. Did you ever just hope for something really surprising to happen? Again, I shouldn't be asking for anything...I'm not trying to act as if I am ungrateful but ....you know. I've wanted to travel lately. I'm so antsy. I want a big change, something to catch me off guard, something wonderful to think about. I feel like I get it wrong all the time- except on Jeopardy, I'm a whiz at Jeopardy! haha.
Total subject change.
I am totally a sucker for fantastic music- more so music that moves me in some way. Of course, my music tastes are probably absrtactlty different from many people. Naturally, the music I enjoy depends on what I'm doing. Like, if I'm getting ready to go out, I like listening to "peppy" or "fun" music. And well, right now I'm listening to my "mellow" playlist which is a montage of "girly" folk music and songs that I really get into as far as lyrics. In the mornings, I tend to lean towards my "rock out" playlist. I have a ton of favorite lines in songs and I've compiled them all! Now, I'm one of those people who likes to use my OWN words to fit to situations and feelings, but seriously, sometimes you just hear that one song that just hits the nail right on the head....and isn't that the point? Don't we all want to relate to something? It makes us feel better about the situation, or at least it makes me feel better- even if it triggers some emotion is the midst of it all, hence the power of the art of music! Ah yes..
I had some weird dreams last night. I love dreaming. I can honestly say that I truly enjoy dreaming whether they're good or bad. Whether it's seeing deceased family members, talking to friends I haven't seen in awhile, riding crazy amusement park rides, or being chased by someone with a chainsaw, they're all great! Perhaps it's because my life can be so boring at times. I shouldn't complain, I have a trillion things to be grateful for.
Gosh, I feel as if my life has been so uneventful lately, yet so many changes have just occurred all at once. Did you ever just hope for something really surprising to happen? Again, I shouldn't be asking for anything...I'm not trying to act as if I am ungrateful but ....you know. I've wanted to travel lately. I'm so antsy. I want a big change, something to catch me off guard, something wonderful to think about. I feel like I get it wrong all the time- except on Jeopardy, I'm a whiz at Jeopardy! haha.
Total subject change.
I am totally a sucker for fantastic music- more so music that moves me in some way. Of course, my music tastes are probably absrtactlty different from many people. Naturally, the music I enjoy depends on what I'm doing. Like, if I'm getting ready to go out, I like listening to "peppy" or "fun" music. And well, right now I'm listening to my "mellow" playlist which is a montage of "girly" folk music and songs that I really get into as far as lyrics. In the mornings, I tend to lean towards my "rock out" playlist. I have a ton of favorite lines in songs and I've compiled them all! Now, I'm one of those people who likes to use my OWN words to fit to situations and feelings, but seriously, sometimes you just hear that one song that just hits the nail right on the head....and isn't that the point? Don't we all want to relate to something? It makes us feel better about the situation, or at least it makes me feel better- even if it triggers some emotion is the midst of it all, hence the power of the art of music! Ah yes..
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Breaking the water
Alright. So, I've finally felt the desire in my 25 years on this earth to archive my thoughts, feelings and experiences for all to see. Why? Not to get attention, accolades or pity for that matter, but because it's easier to type than to write on paper. Why share it with people? Well, my favorite books to read are memoirs and true stories. Who wouldn't want to read someones personal thoughts, fears, wishes or experiences? Especially when that person is putting it out there.
I'm a woman in a little body with a lot on the brain and a lot to say. I will not censor what I write, nor will I make my life look more or less "glamorous" than it is. I am simply real...writing real. I don't know how to essentially go about this or where to even begin. I do, however, hope to gain something from this. Whether it be peace of mind or a better understanding of myself through writing.
I'm not going to give a whole life's history of myself, if necessary, I will delve into some moments of my life and past but other than that, you can use your imagination because this is solely for me.
I have always been the type of person to write in a journal and hopes someone who doesn't know me will find it and not be able to put it down- which is probably why I am "blogging". Imagine finding someones journal or diary- no idea who they are and just reading about their life? Way more interesting than listening to them because more than likely, it is going to be uninhibited and all about that moment and that time. This is why I love reading memoirs so much. We have ALL been through hell in our lives at one point or another. Everyone has heard a plethora of the same story from many people- but what really makes it so interesting is how it is felt and perceived by them at that time. People are all balls of emotion. Whether we like it or not, we all have some kind of emotional entanglement of some sort or some kind of "baggage"(I hate using that word but it's fitting).
Lately I feel as if I am going through adolescence again. I don't know if it's only me, but just when I thought I was sure of who I was, what I wanted and what I wanted out of life- BAM! The cold breeze just whacks me in the face. It will NEVER be easy- guess that's the beauty of it. I guess my main goal is to absorb from people as much as possible. I just want to shut up while I'm out in this world and be a complete sponge for once instead of doing all of the gabbing. Being Italian, it is hard to shut my mouth- but I'm doing my best!
Well, I guess this is a pretty good start..
I'm a woman in a little body with a lot on the brain and a lot to say. I will not censor what I write, nor will I make my life look more or less "glamorous" than it is. I am simply real...writing real. I don't know how to essentially go about this or where to even begin. I do, however, hope to gain something from this. Whether it be peace of mind or a better understanding of myself through writing.
I'm not going to give a whole life's history of myself, if necessary, I will delve into some moments of my life and past but other than that, you can use your imagination because this is solely for me.
I have always been the type of person to write in a journal and hopes someone who doesn't know me will find it and not be able to put it down- which is probably why I am "blogging". Imagine finding someones journal or diary- no idea who they are and just reading about their life? Way more interesting than listening to them because more than likely, it is going to be uninhibited and all about that moment and that time. This is why I love reading memoirs so much. We have ALL been through hell in our lives at one point or another. Everyone has heard a plethora of the same story from many people- but what really makes it so interesting is how it is felt and perceived by them at that time. People are all balls of emotion. Whether we like it or not, we all have some kind of emotional entanglement of some sort or some kind of "baggage"(I hate using that word but it's fitting).
Lately I feel as if I am going through adolescence again. I don't know if it's only me, but just when I thought I was sure of who I was, what I wanted and what I wanted out of life- BAM! The cold breeze just whacks me in the face. It will NEVER be easy- guess that's the beauty of it. I guess my main goal is to absorb from people as much as possible. I just want to shut up while I'm out in this world and be a complete sponge for once instead of doing all of the gabbing. Being Italian, it is hard to shut my mouth- but I'm doing my best!
Well, I guess this is a pretty good start..
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